Sorrow Confidence and Manliness

Manly.  Women like to think that it's the Confidence to combat the world's Sorrow as soon as it appears.  A protection, a shield, from the pain so that it will never touch her.  A fearsome foe to Fear itself.  And to doubt.
Hah.  I could do that.  But it would be a deceiving shield.  Instead of a shield of Light it would be a dark hole that consumes the unknown instead of revealing it.  Uncertainty is your friend, it seems.  It's the bitterness that brings meaning.

As for me, I let this Sorrow envelop me further and further 'til the light dims out.  Sinking into the depths.  Cold and vast.  I don't enjoy it.  I don't struggle until I don't know whether I'm sinking any further.  And then I calmly observe while drowned.  With a prayer of salvation, I understand...hopefully; and if not, I don't dismiss.  I stay drowned.  I keep myself drowned while I walk and continue; in part dead but hoping.

My salvation is insignificant in my eyes.  Rather, it's not warming.  Others' is so important.  But I'm not going to abandon confrontation, just to get a false peace.  I can sit away from the trouble and guard those near me and be at peace away from the war.  But the war wages.  And it involves us.  There is no victor but it is a continuous struggle.  Always present until understanding pierces it.  You see, you can fight for a side or fight both or gamble or sympathize.  But you won't change an outcome that is not.  Understanding allows you to overcome.  Suddenly the struggle isn't a struggle in your eyes but a dance whilst still being a struggle to all else.

Too much...I've read too much into......

I'll protect.  I'm too strong to be concerned about whether I can or not.  I will hold you my love.  I will claim you my land.  I will defend.

Gah